I have been moved from here.

For some reasons,  I have been moved to http://rebellionthoughts.blogspot.com/ . I love this blog alot. I would not completely stop posting here. It would remain my very personal blog forever.

So people who visit me here, do check my other blog.

Cya there

Chinese – A humble Nation

Few days back, I went to hospital for some tests. When I came out of hospital, I saw a Chinese standing on a bus stop, which was just in front of hospital. He threw a familiar glance at me but I didn’t understand whether I met him before or not.

Anyhow I went on my way and I saw him catching a very over crowded bus. I reached my office after some shopping. When I was walking to the office, suddenly some one ran behind me calling;’ Excuse me ma’am’. Oh that was the same Chinese with a smile. He went on:

 

He: Assalaum Alaikum
I was shocked and couldn’t reply for sometime. He started walking with me to the office.
He:” mauf kijiay ga aap tu shaid mijhay nai janti lekin mai nay apko dekha hai yahan”.
Another shock, he was speaking Urdu fluently. We got into the elevator. He quickly pressed the button of my floor.
He: “aapka department issi floor par hai naa”?
I nodded. I don’t remember any suicide attack by any Chinese, so I was at ease.
I: Sorry mai nay aapko pehchana nai”?
He: That’s alright. I can understand that there are so many people visiting here regularly. How could you know all of them? I actually come often here. I saw you working here. Today I have a meeting with Mr……..(one of my most senior colleagues).

He was constantly smiling. I do not like those who smile while talking. His obliging smile was irritating me. Then he lowered his gaze and did not say any thing further. I think he knew that I was constantly watching him. We can never guess about the age of Chinese people. They look ever young. He was wearing faded jeans which I thought was blue when it was bought. His dress shirt was also very clumsy. The most attention grabbing thing were his joggers. Oh my God they were dusty and seemed very old. He was not carrying any things (diary or file) and he had come to attend a meeting. I thought he might be my boss’ friend. After two hours meeting, he waved me and went out of the department.

I called my colleague for taking the whereabouts of that Chinese. He told me that he is among the largest exporters of garments to the world. He started his company from scrap and now he has developed it like an empire. He is dealing with more than 20 countries and now he is going to set up a factory in Pakistan. That’s enough for me to be shocked. He doesn’t look like a big businessman. He was very humble in all his gestures. I do not believe that a big businessman can travel through a local bus.

What about the Pakistani businessmen? Before setting up their business, they consider it obligatory to have a big bungalow and few gigantic cars. They think that expensive suiting would show their status and position. They do not leave any opportunity where they can show off their wealth. Humbleness, forget about it. With the money that they extravagantly spend on their so-called status could be better used in expanding their business but who can tell them.

We have a close liaison with Chinese businessmen. They walk and work freely in our office. Some times I doubt that they are employed here. They are very gentle and kind irrespective of their business status. Their humility, hardworking and sincerity to work are the keys to their success.

MashaAllah! I do look good even without neck :D

Vice President gave me a shield. On right, is one and only Ms Chairperson of this Committee. I think and wish that she would not give this Committee to me next year ;p. No no I did not tease her at her level.

The Second Day-November 5, 2008

Next day was also good. In the first session, attendance of participants was quite good but it came down in the second session. All remaining presentations were made on second day. Trade Development Authority of Pakistan (TDAP), ARY Global Gallery Dubai, SME Bank and Business Support Fund (BSF). All presenters were good. But they were complaining about attendance. It seems that I was the only responsible for this shortfall in participants. had ho gai mai kiya baandh leti logun ko chairs k saath. banda khus aisa interest paida karta presentation mai logu k log ja hi naa saktay sab mera kasoor hai

Anyways, I tried hard to nicely manage the last day as well. And you know what Madam Chairperson called me and emraced me and said; “well done beta”. surprise no shocked. All the time she remained against my working style now; “Both days were excellently managed” she proceeded and I was about to faint. I tell you she was impressed by me apna asar hi aisa hai

She told me that she had made a blunder yesterday’s inaugural ceremony as she did not invite the Chief Guest, who was Director of TDAP, for the speech and she announced Vote of Thank right after VP’s speech ……ahahaha…..I laughed alot. I told her that I was thinking at that time that he was not ready for the speech. Thank God I did not make this blunder.

Anyhow, that was the last project of this year and mashaAllah it happened to a success for me. Thank you Allah Ta’ala ge ….love you God.

My Project is executed today.

After three months tiring efforts, Program has started today. That would be my last Event of the year, I hope :/ .

First day was really good. Crowd was targeted. I think that’s enough number of people to deal with. Program is sponsored by TDAP, SME Bank and ARY Group. One presentation was made today by Badar Khushnooe country Consultant Google Pakistan. Participants remeined interested in his presentation till the end. Program was well managed. I tried not to revise my last mistakes and mismanagements. I was more relaxed today than my last Event. Let’s see what Chairperson would response towards it. The most thing of today was, Af was absent and Chairperson called me up to collect Resource Centre’s shield…..ahahaha…..em sure mijhay kacha chaba jaye gi jab sunay gi tu would post the pic soon

Tomorrow is the second and the last day. TDAP, ARY Group, SME Bank and Business Support Fund would give presentations tomorrow. People are eager to attend the second day too.

I got tired. My damn high heels made me sick so I put my flat chappal on. I dont know how gals are used to high heels. But I am confident that I would one day learn how to handle them.

I am very tired today. But em more eager to welcom the tomorrow

Apu’s wedding Aniversary

Well well well I am damn busy but I cannot leave this moment unsaid. That was a most memorable and most beautiful moment when my favourite person was announed to be included in our family. November 1, 1999, Apu and demmi bhai got married.

I remained embarrassed the whole day :/

I swear that’s not only my fault. He and Chairperson were also responsible.

Ok now the story. As I have mentioned before that I am organizing a Program on business support services. In this regard, I contacted Care International Org asking them for their participation. I tried my best to trace the resource person but couldn’t. They told me that they would contact further. But did not contact me so I thought they are not interested. That’s not my habit to beg others for participation. Chairperson can force them but I couldn’t. I closed their chapter at my end.

now the chairperson constantly remained in contact with that resource person and insisted him to attend the event without my knowledge.

Anyhow, she has rescheduled the date of the program to first week of November. I informed all the interested participants. I had plan to extend a general invitation to all others. yes yes I informed the interested ones and i did not inform HIM. Chairperson did not inform him too. And he the stupid man came all the way from Islamabad to attend the event on previous date. He came to me and asked pleasantly’ what’s the program’? I was like what? which one? where? I took him to the separate meeting room and briefed him about the recent situation. In a separate room as if he wanted to shout at me, no body can hear. I was really ambarrassed and appologized more than ten times. He was also ambarrassed as he should confirm before leaving his place. He called chairperson in my presence. He was looking at me like he wanted me to leave him alone but I did not. I know if I whould have left him he would have surely complained against me. I kept a strict eye on him thats why he had to talk to her carefully.

For most of the time, I do not give much time to my visitors. But I gave him more than an hour. He told me that he was in Kabul and now their org is in process to start a program regarding development of women entrepreneurs with the coordination of USAID. He was called USAID as USA id while we call it US Aid. Dont know what’s the real word but one is the same thing.

I toldhim how much I know about women entrepreneurs and how much I am eager to promote them…….hahahaha…….yea I am becoming little clever na. He seemed very impressed with my emotional speaches and I acted fully to be an emotional pie. ;p

I showed him our whole office from basement to 4rth floor. He was quite impressed. He left after an hour with taking my promise that I would help him whatever he needs in launching his program. I will

Whatever’s fault it is, I was emabarrassed and my attitude towards him was like compensation my others fault. That’s not my fault. He should confirm the program before coming to lahore. bughtay ab by air ticket ka kharcha. And she, the chairperson, why didn’t she told him about the new date if whe really wanted him to be here at the Event? She and He are both responsible. I am absolutely innocent.

T and u were kidding me that he would have killed you if were a male. So thank you God for making girl

Let me cry please!

I am fully trapped and over burdened in these days. I could not understand to which task I should give more preference. Article on Trade Deficit of Pakistan is important and urgent according to Director as it should be published on website until 1st November. The Open Day Program needs my complete attention and focuss and emergent preference according to the Chairperson (bad demag aurat). Analysis of Investment Policy of Pakistan is a crucial project and it’s a matter of my survival in this Org according to K (She’s right). GS would complain agains me to the President, if he does not get the minutes of Cottage Industry by today. J has prepared such poor poor minutes. His anrezi is damd bad even than mine. SMEDA and TDAP need their letter before their next breath.

Trapped, trapped, fully trapped

Afresh

After a long long time finally I fell ill. The causes of my disease were unknown but my mom is confirmed that it is due to someone’s buri nazar. Hehehe I really feel better when she says ‘app log manein na manein issay eid par nazar lag gai hai’. I love my mum.

 

The Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) was diagnosed. I never heard about the disease before having it. “The cause of irritable bowel syndrome is currently unknown. IBS is thought to result from an interplay of abnormal gastrointestinal (GI) tract movements, increased awareness of normal bodily functions, and a change in the nervous system communication between the brain and the gastrointestinal tract. It has been suggested that IBS is caused by dietary allergies or food sensitivities, but this has never been proven. It occurs more often in women than in men, and it begins before the age of 35 in about 50 percent of people”.

 

My fever touched to hundred four. My whole body was aching. Sometimes I was forced to think that some one might have brutally beaten me with a mota danda. Sometimes I got exhausted same as having a bitter soccer game. I don’t understand why every thing is still dancing around me. My brother was saying that I look like a ghost. But I am not at all fed up with my bemari. I somehow wanted somewhere to get ill.

 

I did not eat for many days. I have lost my precious 10 kgs. I hate myself of being a thin girl. The shivering is still out of control and sometimes I still feel difficult to inhale deeply. I hope to recover soon inshaAllah.

 

In the whole bemari period, I missed two things at most the ‘Zinger Burger and Chicken Fajita Pizza’. Now I feel that I would never be able to eat my fav foods. How could a life be spent on liquids?

 

I have joined office today but could not understand how to hold my focus on things. Everyone wants to know the detail of my disease. I tell you app itna bemar hokar kamzoori mehsoos nai kartay jitna dusrun ko bata bata kar kartay hein k aap ko hua kiya tha. I feel sicker of telling everyone what was happened to me. I have received hundred of advices of regaining my lost vigor and I am sure that half of them would make me more sick. I do not know what crap I have written.

 

Anyhow, I thanked all of them who prayed for me. Thank you very much for your best wishes.

 

“Plz! remove the oxygen”.

One of our old Chairman Mr. Bukhari is a very nice and kindhearted person. He helps others as much as he can. He remains ready for something for others. I call him a humanitarian. He is getting much older than he is supposed to be. He has three daughters, no son. The elder one is a shining lady. She was brilliant at studies. She is working as a Consultant in IBM earning US$ 15,000. I heard a lot about her. Her personal life was not so good previously. Her long suffering and then her unsuccessful marriage had made her almost dead. But she remained strong in all her suffering and faced all worst with courage.

 

She was settled in USA long ago. Five years back she got married again to a guy working in the same group. He was considered to the genius consultant of IBM. They were living happily. A son was born to them eleven months before. Life was going smoothly. Bukhari saab was also satisfied with her now. But only Allah knows what lies in His decisions.

 

Last week, the guy was suddenly died of brain hemorrhage. He lived two days after the attack. Doctors told the wife that he won’t be able to survive. In case if he survives, he would lost his memory and would not be able to move his one side. He was put on oxygen machine. After two days, the wife permitted to remove his oxygen saying that ‘it would be more killing for me to see him sitting in front of me helplessly with no sign of identification’. He left behind a loving wife and eleven months old kid for whom he tried to reach home as soon as possible even if went out of country. She was telling that some times he had to change three flights to reach home as he wanted to spend as much time with his son as possible.

 

How life has been changed in a jerk? One could never imagine. She returned Pakistan with astonishing eyes, with her son and the dead body of her deceased husband. The funeral took placed in Lahore. Large number of people attended the funeral.

 

I went to Bukhari saab’s office for condolence. He was looking older. The whole time, he remained trying in controlling his tears. He told that she is still in high spirit and taking care of his son. “What a great grief it is for a father”, he said. He added, “ Can you notice what is this life? It is just a bubble of water. We remain busy all the time to keep the bubble for a longer time. But in the end we realize that we cannot increase the life of bubble with all our possible efforts”. I tried to console him but words left me alone.

 

How could she order to remove the oxygen? How would she have said good-bye to her dying husband? How she is consoling her son for this long absence of his dad? All these thoughts are making me devastating.

 

May Allah bless his sole in peace and give strength to the grieved family. Ameen

Days in Office

 

My Boss called me stubborn :x

If you call a bald headed man ‘Ganja’, he will definitely mind it. That’s the case with me. Ok I admit that I am little bit slightly stubborn but it doesn’t mean I do not agree with anyone. I can only be convinced with logics.

That was an unnecessary office order on which he needs my signature. They are again trying to  form a Special Task Force for Research again. We had already experienced it. Why should we again be included in such group? Why? They had their reservations for the previous research group in which we all were attached they they are trying to form this group again after making them apart?

He didn’t have much convincing arguments except that ‘I am heading this group now and I will run it better’. I know that he is the head of the department. He would not be able to give as much time as required for research given that he is qualified and having best economic research approach. I know I would have to sign the order in any case as it is from the President but I wanted to report my protest and that I am coming in this group by force.

He sent tash for taking my signature who told me that he was calling you ‘another stubborn girl’. So all gals have been awarded with this honour.wow its amazing

Lets see what this group would do in the future.

One is over and new is started!

I swear I tried alot to show that I cannot do any thing independently. I got succeeded too but no one can enjoy all the time. It was good to work behind the scene. You can save yourself from many things but its not the progressive approach. Those who want to exceed in the life, come in front and take the responsibility of doing some thing independently. And I practiced it this year.

Honestly speaking, I feel like I have just started my job. I didn’t know how much you could learn by facing all the problems independently. After managing an international Even, in fact two events, I am no much scared of any thing now. I can do Events independently and I can also take the responsibility of all guddies and mistakes that i could make.

The management has also realized it. That is why second big event is in my hands now. Hopefully I can make it a big success inshaAllah. And i will try not to repeat any mistake or blunder in this upcoming event.

So thumbs up for me

Three D effects

Disappointment

Discouragement

Depression

 

There are still rumors that D has not received any termination letter yet. I think picture would be more clear when days pass. The whole department is in deep sorrow. Everyone misses him a lot. He was like a cause of spreading smiles here. His punches usually worked. He was indeed a cheerful person. No one was expecting such a harsh action from management but they did it.

They fired him….

Yes it is true. unbelievable but true. D has been terminated day before yesterday. I just came to know yesterday noon. It was really disturbing. No one was expecting such a harsh attitude from the management but they did so.

He was under their pressure from last 4 years. They were finding any thing for which they could fire him and they got one. He was accused of miscommunication and mismanagement for the upcoming HR Conference. The chairman of the S/C is very much involved in firing him. They fired him without any warning which is against the labor laws. Everyone in the department is so depressed and missing him very much.

Although, I dont have any remembering terms with him. But he was neither in my bad books nor in good ones. He was very jolly and friendly guy. We will definitely gonna miss him. I wish him better luck in the future and hope that this step would prove a blessing in disguise for him. Ameen.