Shattered and now little bit relieved..

Current mood: feeling sorry

Captain Hushaiyar died. Yes he died two days before. I couldn’t believe it at first. It took some time to believe. He was a very nice, kind and caring person. He always treated us like his daughters. He acted to be generous father. He was not in my department but he was a part of my org. We will all miss him. May Allah forgive him and rest him in peace. And give strenght to bear this loss.

Two days before his death, a peon of his department met me and told me that captain sab was sufferin from hepatitis C which is was diagnosed a month before and it was at its last stage. I was shocked. He asked me to inform uzma (who is studying in London at that time) about his suffering. I said OK. DUe to my tight schedule and damn lousy memory, i couldn’t contact her. I did not understand how much life can be short.

I lost my belief in life. There is nothing uncertain  except life. Uzma might to talk to him at his last breath. DUe to me she couldn’t. I hate myself and curse myself. Yes it is a cry over split milk. How much irresponsible i am?

I informed uzma about his death. She was very shocked and couldn’t believe that. She told me that she was aware of his suffering but she also could not contact him. I said sorry to her. She consoled me by saying that it is all Allah’s will, we cannot do any thing in it. It might be written i would not talk to him. 

But i cannot completely relieved of what i had done. This blunder would take me on.

 

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